Where has the time gone?

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

My Grandpa Died Today

I'm crying and I don't really know why. It's not like I didn't know that his time was coming. I feel at peace with it, I really do. I just can't help but miss the opportunities I missed and the phone calls I could have had more often.

My grandfather was a great guy. I really didn't know him that well. At least not as well as I should have. We left Idaho when I was five and we only saw him once a year after that. At least until I turned 18 and left for college in Idaho. I spent a month with him and Grandpa Selena before going to school. I know it was hard for them having a teenager around. They tried their best to make it work, and for the most part it did. I hope I didn't get on their nerves much as I think I did. I did try to helped out as much as I could, but they were older and other than being family we didn't have much in common.

After I left for college, we didn't speak much after that. Not because we didn't like each, but there weren't many opportunities. They were busy and so was I. I saw them at Thanksgiving and again on my birthday.

Since I left Ricks College to go back to school in Texas, I've only seen them twice. Once for visit after I was married and again for Grandma's funeral.

Since Grandma's death, I've talked to him alot on the phone. So many times before I couldn't get him to say two words to me. Since her death, I always had to plan at least an hour to talk to him on the phone. He would tell me stories about my dad and his brother's that I had never heard before. I wish now, he had told me more.

Tonight I was in the Orlando Temple and I was doing the ordiance work for my husband's Grandmother, Johnnie Hall Spurgeon. The spirit was very strong there and I was so happy that I went. When I went into the Celestial room, I sat and said a little prayer. The first person that came to mind to pray for was my Grandpa Jack. I don't know why. I really hadn't thought about him today. None the less, his name popped into my head. I prayed that when the time came that he would go quickly, in the Lord's time and that he would go in peace. I prayed for several other things and then walked out the door to change. I looked up at the clock as I was leaving the building and the time read 8:53pm. I am guessing that I said my prayer for Grandpa right around 8:40 or a little before.

I came home and was watching a movie with my husband when Mom called with the news. I called my Father (Grandpa Jack's son) and asked how he was doing. Dad said he was doing fine. I asked him when it had happened. He said around 7. I said in the morning or at night. This evening. 7 for Dad was 9pm my time. Little did I know that my prayer in the temple would be answered so quickly.

I'm sad to see him go. At the same time, I'm so glad that this little old man who talked my ear off is now with his loving wife, being held in her arms again. Through him, I am reminded that Heavenly Father loves each one of us and sent His son to die for us, so that like my Grandpa Jack now, we can all be together again some day.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

It's Been A Busy Week

Lots has happened this week. I hope you enjoy this small glimpse. (I left out the turkey photos. I don't think you would have enjoyed it too much.)

Click to play Sea World, April Duane
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I'm Singing Again.

It's funny to say that I'm singing again. It's not like ever quit or rather that I really ever started. At least for other people. I've been singing in the shower, singing in the car, singing lullabyes to my kids for years. I just haven't had the courage to sing in public for a long time. I sang at a ward talent show back in 1994, I did "The Song Remembers When." Sang at YSA family home evening. Then it wasn't until 2003 when my husband and I were moving from College Station, Texas to Florida that I sang again. I guess life and kids had gotten in the way. I purposely waited until a two weeks before we were moving to do it. I guess I didn't want any to be asked again or that I would be around for any bad reviews.

Now we've been living here in our ward since October 2003. We've had a series of ward talent shows every month for about a year now and I've finally gotten up the guts to try again. (It's hard to want to sing when your autistic son tells you to stop singing everytime you open your mouth.) In September, I got up the guts to tell Sis. Beckman, the sister in charge of the shows that I would like to perform. Her ears perked up because she is always looking for new people to perform. I tried to talk myself out of it but once she put me in the program it was too late to back out.

I was so nervous that night. Other than one karaoke song at a party, I hadn't sung in public for almost 4 years. I had decided to sing "On My Own" from Les Miserables. Of course, I pick one of the hardest songs imaginable. My friend, Lisa, played the piano for me. We practiced in the Priesthood classroom before and I didn't hit the note. The really high "preTENDING" note. I thought well, 'its now or never."

That night was so cool. People kept asking me what I was doing in the show and I told them that they would find out. When they called my name and saw Lisa walk over to the piano, they figured it out pretty quickly. The neatest thing about that moment, and I'm not saying this to show off or to strengthen my over the top ego, but it was just something I had never experienced before. I started to sing and all of sudden peoples heads started to turn to focus on me. It was weird. It should have made me more nervous, but it made me work harder to please them. And boy did I hit that note. When I got done with the song, it was nice to see people pleased. Sis. Beckman came over to me and told me that I had been hiding my "light."

That night was just the bump in self-esteem I needed. I even signed up to sing at the next show. That show took place on Saturday. I was nervous this time around, but not nearly as nervous as the last time around. I sang a lot more challenging song this time. I sang, "Amor Eterno" its a spanish love song about the love of a mother for her child, even after he's gone. I don't think it came out as well as the last time, but it helped me to feel more comfortable out there.

If you are brave enough, you can click on the link below.

I guess I'm doing an okay job. (Or they are really lacking in people, ha! ha!) I've been asked sing 3 more times for different Christmas festivities that are coming up. Wish me luck. Or hope and pray that everyone remembers their ear plugs.

About Me

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Idaho born, Texas native Floridian